I hate being new to the scene, I really do. No one knows who I am, no one knows what to make of this page...it's really sucking right now. But I must continue on! There is a void out there for funny, African American based humor sites on the net and dammit I want to fill it. But since this is a brand, spankin new blog, I don't feel like I should put my "best" work out here quite yet. No one is even reading this but me anyways! Okay, maybe my girl (no homo) Erica is but that's about it. For the time being I will just hit ya'll with some interesting links / news to keep you occupied. I am working on a couple of post that I am sure will be both very interesting and funny, so be on the lookout for that. I will not lose.

Beyonce finally fired Daddy dearest recently. According to reports, Beyonce told her Pops to "pack his bags and get on the bus" (who remembers that old DC song, eh?) after he reportedly carried on an affair with a background dancer. What in the hell was this man thinking? It's not like Tina is walking around looking like Sam Casselle.

Everytime I see Tyra screaming at the top of voice telling that chick she "does not know where the hell she's from", the instrumental of T.I.'s "U Don't Know Me" automatically begins in my head. Tyra, don't ever do that shit again.

G Unit is now looking for P.Y.T.'s to pose for a calendar for free. "This is a great photo oppourtunity for models and a chance to introduce yourself to the rest of the nation." Great opportunity my ass! C.T.C.! Cut the check! Damn 50 all the girls need just a lil bit, not much but a lil bit. . .

This is a big no no Ms. Osbourne.

60 Beautiful Black Women: A list compiled to give respect to 60 gorgeous women of color in Hollywood. The list had its high points, like listing sexy starlets (no homo) from the past like Dorothy Dandridge. However I think the list should've strictly included females that were in the game for a minimum of ONE year. This is a straight and direct diss to Brooke Valentine who somehow made it. I'm all for the video chicks coming up in the world like the next woman but Ms. Freek-a-leek is on that joint as well. Guess you can't win em all.

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Use don't abuse (ie. adding me to your site's mailing list). And for the love of God please stop sending mp3 files of your music. I am not Clive Davis and to be frank I probably don't want to hear the shit anyway. You should also know that I take my slow, precious time responding to email. And sometimes I don't respond at all. Fresh.crunkjuice@gmail.com



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