It's All On You

Since I don't have anything worth speaking on today (as you can probably tell) I decided to let ya'll do the dirty work. Plug your sites, talk about whatever is on your mind, and post links to interesting stories/pictures. Make me laugh for once, heh.


What's That Smell?

aww skeet skeet

Launching a fragrance line has been the new trend in Hollyhood lately. Celebrities such as Ashanti and Kimora Lee Simmons have been busy on the ho stroll promoting their new products. Hell even Trina got in on it.


this is an audio post - click to play

And yes I am country as hell, so? LOL . . .


Guess Who's Bizzack?

Hmmm...I wonder who

Buzz Notes Quickie

- Fat Joe, Kanye West, Young Jeezy, Paul Wall and Remy Martin have been doing their bit to clean up the New York streets by staging a free concert for kids. The kids did four hours of community service, cleaning up the streets for a free ticket.

I made my bed, washed the dishes, and took out the trash. So where's my concert?

- Michael Jackson plans to reinvent himself as a booty-chasing rapper. The troubled singer believes the image of a womanising hip-hop star is the perfect way to come back after his acquittal on child-sex charges. Sources say the one-time King of Pop plans to return with a new harder sound. The 47-year-old is also writing a charity single to help victims of Hurricane Katrina.

- The New York Daily News reports that Destiny's Child star Beyonce Knowles appeared out of her element at the Bon Jovi concert at Madison Square Garden on Monday night. She accompanied boyfriend Jay-Z, who was there as president of Def Jam to check out the Island Def Jam label's star rockers. "Anybody who still thinks her relationship with Jay-Z is just a publicity stunt should have seen the look on her face," laughed a spy. "She was definitely being the dutiful girlfriend. She didn't know any of the songs, and they left before the end of the show."

In Bey-Z (you saw that shit here first) related news, check out Jay's main chick rocking the Miss Celie hat. I guess she didn't feel like putting her wig on. Its cool though, my Grandma does the same shit.

- Hulking hip-hop boss Marion "Suge" Knight is considering quitting the rap game and becoming a college football coach. The Death Row Records founder, who was shot in the leg last month, says he wants to take gang youths in L.A. and turn them into athletes. "I'm at a point where probably in the next couple of years I'm gonna go coach football," he tells contactmusic.com. "It's something I enjoy. I don't need a paycheck for it." The 325-pound Knight went to University of Nevada at Las Vegas on a football scholarship and briefly played for the Oakland Raiders.

You would have to be smoking that shit Paris Hilton chiefs on to let your child play for Suge. If the kids lose they will probably be hung from a building by their ankles.


Oh Hell To The Nah, Put Your Clothes Back On ASAP

Believe it or not I do try to keep this site far away from NSFW land. I realize that a good percent ofyou all are at work and I don't want you to get got by boss man.Today good people I must make an exception. I promise its nothing too too bad but ugh worthy nevertheless. So I hope I don't lose any of you but I have got to share this.

I was checking my email today when I was tipped off to some new photos of Brittany (from College Hill "fame"). Like all good reality skanks trying to get an extra 15 seconds of limelight she has decided to get stankdafied. As the images loaded up on my screen I damn near spit out my pineapple Jarritos soda. Whoop that trick!

Brittnay Gettin' Her Skank On 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

I always expected that the "no drawls" girl from season one would be the first person to get nekkid but I guess I was wrong. All I'm going to say is baby girl needs to trim that shit up. Please note that I'm not trying to incite a riot (I miss that guy already) or anything when it comes to the whole natural vs. shaven kitty debate. You gotta go to Negrodamus' site for that.

I got a crisp five dollar bill that says one of the new girls from Making the Band 26 will be doing the same real soon.

Buzz Notes

He's Gonna Feel That One In The Morning

In one of the more bizarre accounts of artist/fan interactions, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony's Layzie Bone almost lost a finger on Saturday when an irate fan tried to bite it off during a scuffle. According to a source close to the group, Layzie, Krayzie and Wish Bone were in Palm Springs, California, to perform at a club and before they could even get to the venue, the show was canceled. Bone's camp said police intervened, fearing gang violence, but a spokesperson for the police said that was not the case and that if the show was canceled it was because the promoter did not obtain the proper permits from the city. In any event, Bone Thugs visited another local club, Havana, and then headed back to their hotel, a Holiday Inn Express in Cathedral City, where the madness occurred. According to the Bone camp, Layzie and his wife were in one of the rooms with some friends and invited some fans up to mingle. There was an undisclosed amount of men and women in the room when one of the men attacked Layzie, apparently disgruntled because of the show's cancellation. The distraught man was able to bite down on one of the rapper's fingers and pierced the skin all the way to the bone. The man was then held by Layzie's friends until police arrived. Police said the attacker was not arrested because Layzie Bone refused to press charges or even cooperate with authorities. Bone was rushed to a hospital, where doctors were able to save his appendage. The fleet-mouthed rapper's finger was stitched up and Layzie is said to be resting in Hawaii with his wife. Despite suffering extreme pain, Layzie is expected to meet up with his group in two weeks to continue recording a new album.

Lil Kim Cut Down To Size In Prison

Lil' Kim has been given a horrid haircut butchering her long locks, according to a prisoner who was released from the Philadelphia detention center just as the rapper was admitted to begin her 366-day sentence for perjury. "She looked like a wreck," Shaki Muhammad, 40, who had just served three months, tells the New York Post. "She didn't look anything like she did on the outside." Muhammad also told the paper that prisoners besieged the 4'11", 30-year-old Kim (real name: Kimberly Jones) with highly personal questions about her sex life and plastic surgery. (more)

ANTM Tidbit

Could America's Next Top Model once have had a penis? I'm just saying.

The Second Annual H.A.M. Awards
This was so bad I had to dedicate a post to it.

- Sheryl Underwood gives a new meaning to the color purple. Purple lipstick, purple eye shadow, purple gums. Why is she showing the stretch marks across her breast? That's not hot. Foxy are you looking at this? This may be you in a couple of years, keep playing.

- Who are you and why did you come?

- I know Richard Pryor isn't dead but after seeing Kim Whitley squeeze into this tight ass dress he will surely collapse on the floor. I will give her props on her hair and make up which looked great (compared to everyone else). But getting Chung Lee over at the flea market to iron a picture on your cocktail dress is not a good idea.

- Bernie Mac should kick your ass for walking out the house like this.

- Everybody can't afford diamonds from Jacob's. Its a sad reality, yes I know. However, you can cop one of those $.99 necklaces from Fashion Bug and show out! Why does she have on that fire truck engine red lipstick and clown make up? I'm not going to mention her pimp cup because that's so 2003.

- Miss Black California looked country as hell. You don't have to wear your slash everywhere now that you've won. Do you see me wearing my cap and gown to church? No.

- Judge Mablean usually looks great on Divorce Court. So why is she wearing that thick ass make up they put on the dead?

- Finally, the mess of the evening award goes to Thea. I used to love watching her show back in the day but urgh, honey has fell completely off. I don't know WTF is going on with her now days. First off lets talk about her 10 different tattoos across her chest. Is it just me or does that shit look like one of those NFL jackets with all the different team logos? Second, where the fuck is her shoes? And lastly, its bad when a man in drag is sexier than you.

Its plenty more mess available at Getty images. I'm sorry but I can't continue.


Kanye West = Mr. Pee Body

Kanye West has an embarrassing past - he constantly urinated in his pants during his school days. The rapper reveals he was known as 'the pee boy' growing up because he suffered from humiliating toilet trouble. He tells US magazine Radar, "I remember one time peeing on myself on the way to a banquet. I had this nice rayon shirt on and these linen shorts, because I'd always be dressed really good. Pee across the front of your shorts - it fucks up your entire outfit."

Throw Back Kanye Pictures 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

Ye was also recently interviewed by Fiona Apple. In the interview Kanye tells Ms. Apple that he holds her 'higher than Lauryn Hill in his eyes.' Everyone's entitled to their own opinion but thats like comparing apples and oranges. Lame pun intended.

Don't forget that you can catch Pee Boy along with Ciara, Nelly, Snoop and others at the Hip Hop Honors show tonight on VH-1 at 9pm.

Buzz Notes

H.A.M. of the Week

Golden Brooks is a total mess I don't know what type of "girlfriends" she has that would let her walk out of the house looking like this. Somebody give her a perm and some MAC with the quickness.

Pictures 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

edit / / I almost forgot to mention that Charlie Wilson is a close second.

D'Angelo Is Not Dead

R&B star D'Angelo is still hospitalized at VCU Medical Center after a September 19 car crash in Powhatan County. At last report he was listed in critical condition. D'Angelo, whose real name is Michael E. Archer, and Lynne Sellers were in a Hummer SUV on Route 711 just west of Route 288 when the accident occurred. Around 7:45 pm the Hummer ran off the right shoulder, crossed the road, ran off the left shoulder and then slammed into a fence and flipped. D'Angelo was not wearing a seat belt and was thrown from the car. He was airlifted to VCU Medical Center. Sellers was wearing her seat belt and was treated for her injuries and released. D'Angelo is hospitalized under an assumed name.

Well At Least She's Not Snorting With Kate Moss

There's a buzz around the internet about Janet "blowing up" again. This should come as no shock because her weight has fluctuated in her throughout her career. I personally don't see what the big fuss is about. Yeah she's gain some added pounds but you and I both know its nothing for Ms. Jackson to get back in the gym. Nothing. The media is a trip, either you're too fat or too skinny. Thats not the real issue here people. Let's talk about why Jermaine Dupri looks like a cancer patient.


Nigga Please of the Week

Kanye West has a hit out at white musicians who try to sound black, insisting artists should stick to what they do best. West confesses to a diverse listening taste and is even a fan of British rocker Franz Ferdinand. He says, "I hate music where white people are trying to sound black. The white music I like is white. "I like Franz Ferdinand. That's the shit."

Ice-T is to produce David Hasselhoff's first hip-hop album. The pair are neighbours in Los Angeles and are said to have struck up a close friendship. Hasselhoff has had some success as a singer, releasing seven albums. He's also said to be very popular in Germany. Ice-T, who was one of the first real hip-hop stars in the late 1980s, said: "The man is a legend. And we are going to show a whole new side of him." The rapper is said to be convinced that the 51-year-old for Knight Rider and Baywatch actor can take on the biggest names in rap, reports The Sun. Ice-T added: "He's gonna come out as Hassle The Hoff - I promise you. The Hoff will surprise people with his rap skills and humour.

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- Kanye was rejected by one of London's elite nightclubs, because door staff didn't have a clue who he was. Mr. West was left speechless and embarrassed as he left Chinawhite, with his entourage trailing behind him. According to the Daily Mirror, Kanye rolled up outside the club in two Mercedes people carriers at around 2.30am. Despite desperate attempts to pursuade staff they were willing to pay, they were refused point blank because their names were not on the list and it was for members only. However, in a farcical move, minutes later Big Brother's mouthy Makosi and her crew jumped the queue and walked straight in. But perhaps it just wasn't destiny for Kanye to hit the capital's club scene last night. After scouting the streets, the very frustrated rapper made his way to Ten Rooms, but was refused for arriving too late.

- Foxy is taking a break for ear surgery. I think this is from that ass whooping Jacki-O gave her. But hey, what do I know.

Buzz Notes

Jada And Jay-Z Have A Baby Together

No the Jigga man and Jada Pinkett-Smith are not actually expecting a child. However they have become the primary investors for a chain of future nationwide stores that house beauty products called Carol's Daughter. Carol's Daughter is a beauty and body product line that was created in the kitchen of a Brooklyn woman. She started off making body scrubs, mango butter and other items. The line has been in existence for a few years now but only on an independent level. Now that Jay-Z and Jada Pinkett, along with other investors have taken an interest in the line they plan to grow it to new proportions. The first store in the Carol's Daughter chain opened in Harlem this past week. About the venture Jay-Z says, "The sky is the limit, we plan to open stores in Atlanta, Washington DC and Philladelphia and we may even go as far as France someday anything can happen."

Now I Ain't Sayin' He A Gold Digger, But He Ain't Messin' With No Broke Bitches

Nicole Murphy, the soon to be ex-wife of Eddie Murphy, has found a new love and a new life, but she might want to watch her wallet. Nicole is about to become a very rich divorcee. She has five kids by Murphy, and she is expected to get a hefty chunk of his fortune following their divorce. Nicole left Eddie citing irreconcilable differences, and now she is dating a businessman. Alan Daniels, 36, is the new man in her life. He's been married twice, he has twin sons and he has bad credit. According to published reports, Daniels is considered a male gold-digger who has a string of financial problems from coast to coast. One woman reportedly was left a debt of a half a million dollars following a business deal with him. Eddie is not happy about this news. He has worked hard for his money, and now he stands to lose half of it. And, a good portion could wind up with this new man. Nicole is crazy about Daniels, and she has no plans to return to life with Eddie. How will she protect her money? Is Daniels looking for a windfall? Does he plan to marry her once her divorce comes through? Will Eddie be able to win her back?

Aretha Is Hitting The Gym

The Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin says she is going to lose weight, and this time, she means it. Aretha says she is doing it in honor of Luther Vandross. Aretha says she and Luther would talk about their weight issues all of the time, and she realizes she needs to lose weight. She says his death was a wakeup call for her. Before his stroke, Luther battled diabetes and high blood pressure. She has lost weight in the past, let’s hope she sticks to it this time.

Lauryn Hill Looks Like The Scarecrow From The Wiz

Pictures 1 - 2 - 3

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And you thought award show season was done right (well, for black people atleast) ? Nope! Hip Hop Honors will air on VH-1 Monday night at 9 pm. Finally, an award show I probably will be able to stomach. I didn't get to watch the first show when it initally aired in '04 (was busy with school) but I did catch it this year. No one cooning on stage? I was impressed. Let's just hope that they won't disappoint this time around.

- The OG Mr. and Mrs. Smith (and I'm not talking about Jada and Will) are still together.
- Ice T and Coco Puffs looking a H.A.M. (hot ass mess) as usual.
- MC Lyte still looks great.
- Faith stole one of my Mama's church dresses.
- We'll always love Big Poppa! B.I.G's Mom and kids smile for the cameras. Doesn't little Chris look so much like his Dad but only 50 times cuter?
- David Banner cleans up well.
- Salt 'N' Pepa look decent after all those years of pushing.
- Um, why did he decide to show up? I hope he's not a presentor.
- Check out the art from the show.
- Queen Latifah looks like she's been to one too many cookouts.
- Snoop looks 'blown' as always.
- Okay I'm going to have a big problem with Cuba Gooding Jr. if he didn't show up to help accept the award for Boyz N Da Hood. I know that nigga gave his ghetto pass back a long time ago but damn. But what's up with the weird facial expressions? Looks like John had a stroke.
- Ciara tries out a new hair color.
- Nelly channels his inner James Todd Smith.
- Last but not least, En Vogue looks tired. Somebody please let them take a nap! I hope they don't pull a Fugees at the BET Awards. They even looked tired at rehearsals. Lord help us.

Click here for more pictures from the event


Foxy Brown exits Manhattan criminal court, Thursday, Sept. 22, 2005, in New York. A trial date was set for Dec. 5, 2005, on assault charges made against her at a New York nail salon. She allegedly assaulted a pair of Manhattan nail shop workers in a fight over a manicure on Aug. 29, 2004.

Scratch all of that. You already know what I have to say . . .

damn you Inga

Inga should be the official spokeswoman for Fashion Fair. Does she ever put on a different shade of lipstick? I do applaud the fact that her and Lauryn are a few of the only other females still in the game who didn't dye their hair blonde to sell records. But this shit has got to cease.

I'm not going to say anything about her baby hair this time.

Edit / / Hey gang, got an update for you. Apparently the internet hoodrat who has been invading the comments section lately has a blog of her own. Big surprise huh? Maybe somebody is desperate for hits, no? It seems as a few people got their panties in a bunch over the cyber thug psa. A hit dog will always holler. So to the cyber thuggette in question I will say this: I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of receiving site visits from my folks.

Its not that serious. This is the fucking internet. You claim to be grown but you're hiding behind your keyboard instead of grabbing a hold of life.

Dear Cyber Thugs,

Thinking about leaving negative anonymous comments? Thats a hell to the nah here at C&D. If you don't like this site is then don't visit. Its just that simple. It's almost like giving a television program you can't stand ratings. Doesn't make sense at all. So if I want to call a black person a negra or a Caucasian a cracka ass cracka then that's my say so.

Haloscan is now in effect. I encourage you to think twice before you post. Negative comments will get you banned from this site. Point blank period.

I'll take your ass down to Chinatown like Whitney baby.

Love Always,



Buzz Notes

Superhead Just Won't Quit

The claws are back out between Tyra Banks and Video Vixen Karrine Steffans. Banks was hissing after Steffans, who admits she has been intimate with Jay-Z, Shaquille O'Neal, Usher, Ja Rule, Sean (Diddy) Combs, Vin Diesel and Fred Durst, claimed that she and Tyra "are not that different." Now catwalker Tyra, who's promoting her fifth season on "America's Next Top Model," is refusing to go on John Salley and Ananda Lewis' L.A. radio show after Steffans used that forum to trash her. "I heard they call Tyra 'Hollywood Hop,'" Steffans told Salley and Lewis, "for the many men in Hollywood who have bedded Tyra and moved on." (continue)

Fan Tells DMX That 'Lil' Jon Is Better' And Gets Pimp Slapped

Two men have filed complaints with police in Berlin, Germany, claiming that U.S. rap star DMX assaulted them in a Berlin nightclub. DMX was in Berlin’s Sage Club last Friday (Sept. 16) following an appearance earlier in the evening. The rapper became involved in an altercation with Oliver Osterode, 24 and Julian Schmidt, 24, allegedly comments made while in the bathroom. "I wanted to go to the bathroom and met DMX," Osterode told German newspaper BZ. "I told him that I think he's cool, but Lil' Jon is better. Then he freaked out. He slapped me in the face, and then his bodyguards attacked us."Osterode suffered a swollen eye, bruised ribs and other lacerations, while Schmidt reportedly suffered bruises to his abdomen. Managers for DMX have assigned a Munich based lawyer to investigate the incident. Representatives for the rapper were not available as of press time.

Kanye West Does Not Care About Clearing Samples

Legendary diva Dame Shirley Bassey is furious after discovering rapper Kanye sampled her 1971 hit "Diamonds Are Forever" in his single "Diamonds From Sierra Leone". The 68-year-old star is considering legal action after West used the chorus from the James Bond soundtrack song and alleges his record label Roc-A-Fella never approached her, reports British newspaper the Daily Mail. She said:"I didn't know anything about the song before its release. "He didn't ask my permission to have me singing on his song. I didn't even know it existed until I heard him performing at the Live 8 concert. I didn't even hear from his record company, which wasn't very nice. "(Legally) it's something I want to look into, because he was very cheeky, so one way or another he is going to have to pay me a lot of money."

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- Erykah Badu plays the mommy role.
- A few days ago I talked about Meagan Good in the movie Eve's Bayou. Well co-star Journee Smollett is all grown up now! She has turned out to be one beautiful young lady.
- Superhead practices for Bill at a book signing.
- Keyshia Cole looks like she's about to lie down in a casket.
- Ray J and Brandy have been hanging with Free.

Buzz Notes

Trick Daddy Wants To Justify Your Thug

Mr. Trick Daddy Dollars has teamed up with Russell Simmons and the good folks over at VH1 to create a show titled Thug My Guy. I guess they're going to take some random cracka ass cracka, place himin an XXL white tee and drop him off in the infamous Pork'N' Bean projects in Miami. I'm assuming its going to be similar to Queer Eye but backwards. Instead of bathing everyday, you will rotate. What I'm trying to figure out is who in the blue fuck would want to take fashion tips from Trick Daddy? He looks like he leaves a ring around his tub. Anyways, visit the site for more information.

Have you had your daily dose of ignorance today?

The clip is dark as hell and I wasn't able to sucessfully determine if that indeed was Trick Daddy. Plus you have to put up with five minutes of talking from some random nigga from Detroit who is trying to make a name for himself. *sigh*

Naomi Campbell Is Bulletproof

Naomi Campbell has requested a bullet-proof limousine when she visits Colombia. She is set to judge a modeling contest in Bogota, a crime-ridden city. Naomi, 35, invited in Bogata, Columbia to judge a modeling competition that will take place Friday, is afraid she will be kidnapped by the local mobsters. A spokesman confirms: "She asked for a bullet proof car to drive her round Bogata."Colombia's murder rate is among the highest in the world, in line with the country's reputation as one of the world's most dangerous places. It maintains the second highest murder rate in Latin America at 112 per 100,000 people, is the traditional headquarters of one of the most powerful drug trafficking rings in Colombia and remains rife with narcotics-related violence.

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- Martha Stewart does not care about black people.
- The most stiff couple in the world hit the red carpet again. Why don't they just cut the bullshit already?
- K. Fed (also known as Mr. Spears) is set to release an R&B album soon. I got to hear this shit.

Send Kim A Kite
Kimberly Jones
Fdc Philadelphia Federal Detention Center
P.o.box 562 Philadelphia, Pa 19106


PSA: Trappin' Is A Trap


Since your girl Fresh still resides in the hood, I pretty much can look out of my bedroom window and see drug transactions take place at any given time. Please believe my block is hot like Weezy's. Its been like that every since I wasrocking pigtails and Osh B' Gosh overalls. I say this not to "impress" you but instead to say this: If you are going to walk around in a shirt that says "I Got That Snow" you're going to raise the eyebrows of police officers. All the hood negras here in GA love walking around in these damn snowman joints like its December yapping about trap or die. Nigga please.

Stop blaming "the white man" when you're the one with a billboard on your chest which implies you sell rocks. You're better off wearing one that says "I got bout an ounce in the glove compartment."

Buzz Notes

One Last Drumstick

A less than glamorous Lil' Kim wears shades, an oversized T-shirt and jeans, as she arrives at the Federal Detention Center in Philadelphia. The queen bee has a new hive - and she's not liking it. Raunchy rapper Lil' Kim walked into a federal prison yesterday to start a year-and-a-day sentence for lying about a shootout with a rival rap crew.
Kim strode into the Federal Detention Center in downtown Philadelphia without saying a word, but vowed in a statement that she "will come out a stronger, more confident woman.""I am blessed to have so many great things in my life - family, friends and God," said Kim, 30, whose real name is Kimberly Jones. "All will be in my thoughts daily."She groused over not getting assigned to a less-strenuous prison camp. "I am not certain that this constitutes fair and equal treatment," Kim said.

Still, she promised to make the best of her stint behind bars. "Today begins a new saga in my life which I expect to strengthen me and allow me time for reflection," she said.The nation's new most famous federal inmate drove down the New Jersey Turnpike in a convoy of five luxury vehicles from her Englewood home. Trailed by a reality TV crew, she stopped at a rest stop for fried chicken at Roy Rogers before beating a 5 p.m. deadline by 30 minutes.

Only in America will Black people will risk getting into further trouble with the law just for a damn white meat and biscuit combo. Check out the farewell dinner Kim's friends had for her.

They Lootin' - - Made You Look

Business owners return to New Orleans "The Wal-Mart store in uptown New Orleans, built within the last year, survived the storm but was destroyed by looters."They took everything - all the electronics, the food, the bikes," said John Stonaker, a Wal-Mart security officer. "People left their old clothes on the floor when they took new ones. The only thing left are the country-and-western CDs. You can still get a Shania Twain album."If the store had not been looted, it could be open in two weeks, Stonaker said. Now he doubts it will be open by January." (continue)

It's Cheaper To Keep Her

I've been hearing horrific and bombshell allegations regarding R. Kelly's estrangement from his wife Andrea. If these allegations are true and the Kelly's divorce, R. Kelly would be better off agreeing to an out of court settlement. He wouldn't want these allegations to come out in an open arena. Also, we have received word that the tabloids are snooping around. If they decide to do a story, I'm sure the allegations will be included in their account. R. Kelly is worth between $75-$100 million dollars, the Kelly's have been married for several years and they have three children.

Superhead Got Competition?

So the word is Mos Def got on some drugs and married a stripper. Sources say she was a stripper in Toronto for years along with her mother. Yes her mother was a stripper too. The funniest part is that her name was Ecstacy which is what some people say they were on when they got married. This chick has never worked a day in her life but a bag of rappers and ballplayers send her money and the streets are saying she's a professional. Toronto got their very own Superhead. Mos is not her first victim. (shout out to Soli for the tip)

UPN = Under Paid Niggas

. . . Did anyone catch the new fall line-up last night? While I the opening credits to One on One played I saw that Ray J. would be on the show, so I didn't watch. Oh well. The best show on television last night was this week's episode of spoiled white teens My Super Sweet 16. I'm not going to hype it up because its something you have to see for yourself.


Foxy Brown is smiling inside of Jay's oval office over at Def Jam rubbing her hands together like Mr. Burns tonight. I'm surprised this isn't on a black tee yet. Those were the days. Don't mind me, I'm just reminiscing like Mary J. Comments are off for this post. Just sit back and enjoy the duo who once called themselves hip hop's Thelma and Louise.

Buzz Picture Post


- Yup in my white tee! Yup in my white tee! No this isn't a Tide commercial. And how did I know they are from NO? They all look like Lil' Wayne.

- And speaking of Weezy F. Baby, check him and wifey out. I know that was probably a hood rich wedding.

- Hmmm, I thought Dame was married? I guess he's seperated now.

- I love Kelis but she's been looking like she is in need of an intervention lately.

- Monica, Cutiepie, and Uncle Ciara say cheese to the camera.

- There's something about Remy alright - - she needs a stylist!

- Whoa, Meagan eyebrows don't look good. I liked better back in the day when she was the lil' crazy bitch from Eve's Bayou.


- And Free rounds off this post. She looks like she been smoking that presidential shit, Jimmy Carter.

Is Bill Maher The New Clinton?


Your eyes do not decieve you, that is Kid from Kid-N-Play fame (damn, thats such an oxymoron now) kicking it will my nigga Bill Maher. I'm not sure if this means Bill has earned a ghetto pass like other great whites who have come before him. Its still pretty funny shit to see him hanging out with the negra folks. Its almost like he shouldn't even be there . . . like someone photoshopped his ass in. And lets not even begin to talk about Karrine. Who knew that the same girl who sniffed Ja Rule's socks when she missed him would be standing on the red carpet at the Emmy's. See girls dreams do come true. Only if you have a high priced white sugar daddy. You still can't knock her hustle.

And WTF is up with Kid's facial expression? He looks like a spider monkey. *sighs* On another note, please pray that Earth, Wind, and Fire do not show up to any more events looking a hot mess.

home sweet home


One For The Road


On Monday, Rapper Lil' Kim will begin serving her year-long prison stint for lying under oath during a case involving gunfire exchanged between her associates and that of rival hip-hopista Foxy Brown. How, we wonder, will Kim spend her last days as a free woman?

- Playing with her coochie, one last time, when she's up in the tub.

- Rolling around in a pile of the Notorious B.I.G.'s fur coats.

- Attending fittings for her Marc Jacobs prison jumpsuit.

- Enjoying a final breast-jiggle from Diana Ross.

- Looking up the word "perjury" in order to understand what the hell happened.

- Upping her body's silicon content, so that she might keep herself amused by bouncing off the prison walls.

- Deciding on a single hair color to sport for the next year.

- Shoving as many Vuitton items as possible into her anal cavity.

- Familiarizing herself with The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas.

- Visiting Judith Miller.

(list composed courtsey of Gawker)

I'd rather be dead and rich than broke and livin' / Without rap, I probably woulda been sellin' dope in prison / With some Vera Wang khakis and Nolteychucks / Suckin' the warden's dick in the back of the bus
- Kim on La Bella Mafia's "This Is Who I Am"

Well said Kimmy, well said.


Hip Hop Buzz Notes

Kanye Must Go Through Tons of Lotion

Kanye West was left red-faced recently when his mother Donda discovered how much money he spends on pornography. The star loves the close working relationship he has developed with his mum since their college days but admits constantly having her at his side can sometimes be embarrassing. He says, "I was an English major and she (mother) was head of the department. Now she is my manager, and that can be tricky sometimes. She's like: 'Kanye, did you spend $500 at the porn store?' Come on, get the fuck out of here! I'm 28 years old and I have to explain to my mother?"

As Sly As A Fox

Whatever aroma Foxy Brown is exuding should be bottled and sold. Last Friday, she had the gang at P.M. abuzz when she canoodled, cavorted and then sped away with supermodel Tyson Beckford. On Tuesday, she was back at the Haitian-themed lounge — this time locking lips with NBA hunk Chris Webber. And who was sitting in the adjacent banquette with Kimora Lee Simmons trying to avert his eyes? None other than Tyson Beckford! Also on hand: Queen Latifah, Busta Rhymes, Wyclef Jean with fellow Haitian Garcelle Beauvais, and A.J. Calloway celebrating his birthday.

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- Game Over? Nope! That my friends is a G-Unot billboard smack dab in the heart of Jamaica Queens. Dayum homie.

- Rub-a-dub-dub, Peedi Crakk is soaking in the tub. Sorry baby but Pac did it better.

- You gotta love the wonders of photoshop. So whats on the mind of Ms. Knowles?

Buzz Quickie

- So this is the life one has to look forward to after being on reality television?

- FEMA cards are now being swiped between ass cheeks

- Remember that infamous Jodeci post from a few days ago? I forgot to add one

- Self explanatory

Buzz Notes

Apple Loves Jay-Z (no, not that Apple)

Gwyneth Paltrow's -- who has been widely quoted saying "I'd rather die than let my daughter eat instant soup" -- apparently has no problem letting 16-month old Apple listen to Jay-Z, a rap star whose albums are usually labeled "Explicit Lyrics." Paltrow, while out promoting her new flick "Proof," was asked if her daughter is a fan of Coldplay, the band headed up by her husband Chris Martin. Apparently, not. But Paltrow revealed that instead, Apple likes Jay-Z, and often listens to the rapper on headphones.

Betcha Apple will be bringing home a negra boy from school in a couple of years. And while we are on the subject of Shawn, isn't supposed to be retired? Fade To Black part two coming soon.

Being Kimberly Jones

Yup! You guessed it, Kimmy's getting her very own reality show. I can't knock her for making moves like a crackhead (I love that quote) before she goes in the clink clank. The show is slated to be produced by the Edmonds who you will remember giving us College Hill. It will chronicle Lil Kim's court case and the preparation for the album.

edit / /

Grammy award winning hip-hop diva Lil' Kim holds a meet and greet with her fans in New York City. Lil' Kim was convicted of perjury last July and is scheduled to begin her prison sentence next week. MTV's camera crews were also on hand as they followed Kim around the clock for her upcoming reality show, "Lil' Kim Goes to The Big House." The series will document Kim's hectic life as the queen of hip-hop and how she manages to juggle the media blitz of promoting her upcoming Album, The Naked Truth out September 27th on Atlantic/Queen Bee Records, in addition to preparing for her upcoming jail sentence.

Pictures 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6
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- With the upcoming release of The Glamourous Life, Trina works hard for a good review in The Source. So that's how she made last month's cover.

- Brandy is the dumb-dumb of the week. After a short engagement to NBA star Quentin Richardson, she decided to get a tattoo of his face on her back. Yeah, not his name but face. Not her daughter's face but Quentin's. And like 90 percent of most industry romances it quickly fizzled. So what's a girl to do? Get over it - - literally.

- R&B singer Mary J. Blige asks a worker to move so she can pose as she arrives to the Baby Phat Fashion show held at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. Priceless! As always you can caption the photo in the comments if you please.


Where In The World Is . . .

A lot of younger viewers of this site may not know who the hell Billy Ocean is. For those people I suggest you ask your one uncle who thought he was a playa back in the day. If you was macking back then it was required to have a Billy O cassette tape. He used to look like this. Scary yes, but he probably still bagged many hoes. So a couple of nights ago while suffering through a bout of complete boredom I decided to watch an infomercial for Classic Soul Balads. While Peabo Bryson yapped away my mind wondered to what Mr. Ocean was up to these days. Google time! I almost fell out of my chair when I came across this picture. This nigga sung "Carribean Queen" my dude. WTF happened? Life.

"After a brief stretch in prison for drugs Ocean has emerged wiser, sober and more spiritual. He now finds solace in gardening and playing the pan. Still active in recording and touring, Billy remains in England rarely venturing to America."

Dammit crack! First you take one of the Pointer sisters and then Billy. Have you no mercy?

She Lives In My Lap

You can caption the photos if you please in the comments. Play baby play.

edit / / of course she isn't slurping away in actuality so to all of those who have been making a big fuss about it in the comments, shut up bitch. comments are now off. thank you.


The trailor park queen finally had her baby today.

I Love 2Pac Like All Good Negras But . . .

This statue looks nothing like him. It actually resembles the deacon who is in charge of the building fund at my church. Pictures 1 - 2

Talking Loud But Ain't Sayin Nothin Lyrics of the Week

Look, baby girl: work it, just don't quit / See, I love it when you young ass shake them tits / You lil' vivrant thang / You like Burger King? / Well, you can go ahead and swing on tha Whopper Ding-a-ling / You make me really lump up in tha pants / Every time I see your sexy ass do that dance / And you can tell your friends you know a / nigga with a dick like a great big cobra / We can bang, bang, bang all night long / Knock your head against tha bed 'til tha inside's gone / When ya see your sister, tell her, "It's alright." / She still make my dick BOOM like dynamite / Tell her Tiger would, but I won't......eat no pussy, cause I don't / You want a nigga that'll fuck ya in tha park in tha grass / You want a nigga that'll stick a big stick in your ass / That fire!

- Mannie Fresh on Juvenile's "I Got That Fire"

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Buzz Notes

Raven Symone To Appear In King?

Almost everyday some horny sex offender who is looking for "nude pussy shots of Raven Symone" is directed to this site. Well his dream may very well being coming true . . . sort of. King is one of the leading black men's magazine (think of a chocolate FHM). So what does this have to do with Raven? According to my gossiping bitches of industry insiders, Ms. Symone will be appearing in an upcoming issues of the magazine. Jamie Foster Brown of Sister 2 Sister spoke to her about the risky pictures and she said that "she is going to shock everybody." Now I don't know if I should buy this or not. Raven is having huge success with her show on the Disney channel and I'm not sure if she would actually jeopardize that. On the other hand I can understand her frustrations to not be little Olivia forever.

Trina's Stripper Pictures

Like her buddy Eve, Da Baddest Bitch has "pictures" of her surfacing on the internet back in her skrippa days. I'm not sure how authentic these flicks are but as always you be the judge (NSFW). In my opinion the female in the pictures do resemble Trina. Just think back to when the video for "Nann" was released. Everyone has a twin though and her's might be a dancer like she once was. Whatever the case that was some nasty shit going on in that hotel room.

New Celeb Fit Club

Former Cosby Show kid Tempest Bledsoe, The Parkers "star" Countess Vaughn, old school rapper Young MC and D12 member Bizarre are among the contestants slated for the third season of VH1's Celebrity Fit Club. Chastity Bono, Bruvillainsnch, Jeff Conaway and Kelly LeBrock will round out the show out. Now you know I GOT to see this shit.

50 Cent On Howard Stern

If you got 11 extra minutes to spare and you're extremely bored like myself, check this out. His aunt poisoned his dog with roach spray. Which probably affected his ass mentally also.


Buzz Picture Post

It's picture time gang! You want fries with this post? (NSFW)

Kai Milla 2006 Fashion Show
- Guess who's partying with the neggras?
- He's made the whole world 'lean back'. So why does Scott Storch look like this?
- The least Ashanti can do is pay for her mama to get a touch up before they go out. I'm just sayin!
- Lil Kim circa 2025

Scrap Pile
- Mary J. Blige must shop at the clearance rack
- Master P before (I wonder if he had on MAC or Cover Girl) and after
- Ciara's graduation pictures 1 - 2
- Tocarro looks like Bozo the fucking clown with all this make-up on. (I'm loving the fact they called her "Pocarro")
- Nasir's wife needs some underwire assistance ASAP, ASAP.

Buzz Notes

Kanye Is 'Low Rent' and Everyone Loves Black People *Hugs*

Nip/Tuck star Kelly Carlson has blasted Kanye West for comments he made during a live Hurricane Katrina telethon last week - calling the rapper "tacky".West ignored his script on a teleprompter and instead attacked President George W. Bush, stating, "George Bush doesn't care about black people," claiming the American leader didn't act quickly enough to save African-Americans stranded in the eye of the hurricane. His outspoken comments upset Carlson because she felt West chose the wrong time and the wrong forum to attack America's leader. She fumes, "I don't think a lot of people this day and age dislike black people. I mean I think we've kind of moved on from that."So, to go on television and say that, I think it's tacky, I think it's very low rent."

This bitch is smoking that oh wee straight from Cali. Now instead of just saying what he did was tacky, she let that dumb ass comment escape from her mouth. And while you're in the "hell to the nah" spirit, check out this article which highlights dumb quotes regarding Katrina. God Bless America.

Lil' Kim Explains The Beef With Star Jones

Vibe: Why doesn't Star Jones like you?

Lil Kim: I don't know. I am trying to figure that out. I guess it must feel good to pay less, I don't know. We were at a basketball game. It was the game where her husband proposed to her. When she walked past me the first time, I felt like she was someone in the industry I would like to know. My seat was near the basketball court. So when you go by, to go to the restroom, I would be the first celebrity you would see. So she walked past with her husband, I waved to her and said, "Hi Star." She looked me up and down and rolled her eyes and kept walking. I didn't know if maybe she didn't know who I was, or thought I was someone else, or she didn't see me... I made every excuse in the world for her.

After her husband proposed to her, she walks by again holding his hand very tight. Everyone was still clapping when she walked past me. And I am a very bubbly person, especially with celebrity friends, since I don't want them to think I am stuck up, that I am too cool approach. So I went up to them and said, "Congratulations Star." And she looked me up and down again, and grabbed her husband real hard, and started walking real fast. And I thought, 'Oh, she must not like me.

Kimmy has been one busy queen bee this month. With September 19 being so close she has been making her rounds everywhere. You can also check out Kim on the cover of The Source this month and on TRL later today. I'm also hearing reports that she shot a video for "Lighters Up" and may even have an Access Granted on BET.

Tyra Banks = Porn Starah?

A naked look-alike of supermodel Tyra Banks posing on the cover of porno magazine Xtreme is causing a lot of double takes at seamy newsstands. And the September cover headline, "Totally Tyra," isn't helping the confusion. The singularly named model -- who was "discovered" by a porn director at a shopping mall and stars in the just-released "Boned" -- says in the Xtreme interview that she's had no legal hassles posing as "Tyra." "I haven't met her; I haven't heard anything from her," she says. "I'm not sure she's heard about me!" The brazen wannabe even set up a Web site, totallytyra.com. "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery," Cindi Berger, Banks' spokeswoman, tells Page Six. Looking at a copy of the "Tyra" cover, she said, "Clearly, this is not Tyra. Tyra doesn't smoke or drink, and she wouldn't pose nude in a million years." The Tyra Banks Show," the "America's Next Top Model" host's new WB talk show, debuts today. The other Tyra can next be seen in the porn video "That's Hot." "It's a Paris Hilton thing," she tells Xtreme.

First of all that girl looks nothing like Tyra. If you were 87 years old and had glaucoma you may mistake her for Ms. Banks. Anyone else can clearly see she looks nothing like her. Look for yourself (NSFW). *sprays Lysol at screen*


PSA: Urgh? Hovie's Angels . . .

Unless you are caking like Trina or Beyonce I'm going to need for you girls to turn around. This is the press area for a hurricane relief telethon - - not exactly the best time for you to show your non-existing asses.

And that's all I got to say about that.

Buzz Notes

Memo To Mr. West - - You Are Not The Spokesman For All African Americans
Hip-hop star Kanye West is advising his white counterparts that they can only use certain slang terms when they're out of style for black people. The rapper - who recently charged that US President Bush "doesn't care" about African Americans - believes that certain slang words should only be able to cross racial barriers when they're no longer in style for black people. He says, "I think white people are allowed to say 'bling'. They are allowed to say old-school black slang, like 'hottie' and 'homie'. Actually, I do not think that (white people) are allowed to use slang until it is at least a year old. If you say a slang word too early, it's like you're trying to be black. So as long as the slang is a little played out, you're all good."

Hollywood - Pat Robertson on Sunday said that Hurricane Katrina was God's way of expressing its anger at the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences for its selection of Ellen Degeneres to host this year's Emmy Awards. "By choosing an avowed lesbian for this national event, these Hollywood elites have clearly invited God’s wrath," Robertson said on "The 700 Club" on Sunday. "Is it any surprise that the Almighty chose to strike at Miss Degeneres' hometown?" (

I ain't heard of that.

Jay-Z: Beyonce Please Refer To Me As Shawn During Sex
Rapper Jay-Z announced he dropped his stage name in favor of his birth name, Shawn Carter. Invited at a party after London's GQ Awards, the singer issued invitations but refused to sign them with his recording pseudonym.Journalists were told: "Please make sure that when referring to him in your article, you call him Shawn Carter.It's how he wants to be known now because he's exploring business opportunities in the UK."

Now I can understand this. He's a business, man - - not a business man!

Oh No This Muthafucka Didn't!
Speaking to Fight For Life promoter and former Kiwis league player Dean Lonergan on Friday, Veitch said about the African-American Williams: "Do you know where the apes come from? She is a reminder." That prompted condemnation from race relations conciliator Joris de Bres and action from Radio Network general manager talk programming Bill Francis who directed Veitch to make the apology, which he did at 7.10am today. "During Friday's show in a banter and exchange with Dean Lonergan, I made some comments about Serena Willams," Veitch said. (continue)

Cracka ass cracka.


Nigga Please
Jim Jones "breaks it down" for us on "Summer Wit Miami"

They say rap music is subliminal / but the music for us is like our own diary / something like a confession /they tell me life is a bitch / she something like the seasons just like mother nature / she comes and go as she please / thats why they get their period once a month . . .

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Buzz Notes

Paris Hilton Drops The N Bomb
Maybe this is why her and Nicole aren't friends anymore?

Mekhi Phifer To Play Al "Hot Grits" Green In Upcoming Movie

Actor Mekhi Phifer is set to play Al Green on the big screen in a new movie about the singer's life. The working title is, Tired Of Being Alone, and it will trace Al's life as a singing superstar who had hit after hit in the early 70's. In 1974, his life changed forever when a disgruntled girlfriend threw a pot of hot grits on him in a moment of rage. Al recovered from the burning, but the girlfriend went on to commit suicide. Al later turned his life over to the Lord, and the rest is history.

Mos Def Claps Back

Mos Def's "Katrina Clap" blasts Bono and The Prez. Taking back his position as Brooklyn's own controversial and conscious emcee, Mos Def addresses the hurricane disaster, racism, the president and Bono on "Katrina Clap." On the song, which uses the original beat from Juvenile's "Nolia Clap," Mos cries out to God to "save the streets" and each person to donate at least "$1" for relief efforts. To Bono, who has staged relief efforts for AIDS and other causes, he offers this frustrated refrain:

It's enough to make ya holla out / like where the fuck is Sir Bono and his famous friends now / don't get it twisted man, I dig you too / but if you aint about the ghetto, then fuck you too"

He reserves most of his heat for President Bush who he says "shouldn't be the boss anymore" and echos Kanye's sentiments about the President's disdain for blacks saying "He got a policy for handling the niggas and trash."

BTW, Mos did not marry a Becky. That's not the real issue at hand however. Lets not forget about those 87 kids he has. Mos Def is the new Bob Marley . . .

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BET S.O.S. Telethon Flicks
- Al still looks prettier than Star
- Floetry getting their Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie on.
- Choppa and Twista teaching each other the latest gang signs. (Please note that Young Titty's face looks 500 percent better than on Making The Band. Maybe Diddy assisted him in preserving his sexy)
- Lil' Mo looks cute for once.
- David Banner looks like he has on one of those knock-off shirts from the flea market.
- Tyson and Foxy - - and yes she's still wearing that fucking fushia lipstick from Fashion Fair
- Someone give Joe 'more and more' chapstick please.
- Jill Scott looks like an extra from School Daze.
- Erykah Badu looking in the crowd for her next victim.

/ / edit

I don't know how I could've manage to leave the King of R&B (rocks and blunts) out! I'm speechless for once.

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Use don't abuse (ie. adding me to your site's mailing list). And for the love of God please stop sending mp3 files of your music. I am not Clive Davis and to be frank I probably don't want to hear the shit anyway. You should also know that I take my slow, precious time responding to email. And sometimes I don't respond at all. Fresh.crunkjuice@gmail.com



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