Rumor Control: Bow Wow Unleashed!

Word around these mean internets is that Bow Wow is talking reckless about everyone from Jermaine Dupri to Ciara in a new interview in Ozone magazine. I hit editor-in-chief Julia Beverly up to get the real scoop on the story and it's not true. Allow me to break it down for the slow folks out there: the shit isn't real!

While the article was obviously too good to be true it was still pretty damn amusing to read. Check out my favorite portion of the interview:

Ozone: So, we all know the story on you and Ciara. But with her new album and sexy video, are you having a little regret about the split?

Bow Wow: First, hell no. Second, y'all don't know the story about Ciara. Let me tell you, the rumors are she's a hermaphrodite. Well, she's not. It's something that's worse to me, and a man of my status can't deal with it. The girl can't control her bladder. I'm going to just let you sit there and let it sink in and marinate.

Ozone: ...

Bow Wow: You heard me, the girl has the bladder of a 3 month old. **** got so bad I was making emergency stops at Wal-Mart to buy Assurance brand diapers for the girl. You know, I had to make myself out to look broke, no one could know your boy Bow Weezy was up in the Wal Mart buying diapers so I got the off brand. But yeah, it was disgusting.

Ozone: Bow Wow, I've heard some crazy **** before, but man, are you serious? Ciara?

Bow Wow: *****, I couldn't believe it either. First time the **** happened, that I knew about anyway, was when me, Jay-Z, his broad, JD and Janet were all up in Club 112 in the VIP you know sipping on the high class ****, Cristal and all that. This was before the whole thing with the French guy saying we don't need to be drinking it. Anyways, there's a saying amongst us ballers, "Cris makes you piss." Well, Ciara learned the hard way. Damn, I was just shocked man, you know? I'm a grown ass man and my gal done pissed on herself. And that ***** Jay had the nerve to laugh and ****. I was like hold on Jay, we can't all retain our water like you and your camel brothers. [1] That ***** was straight hush mouth, and to get the point across further, I kindly slipped a couple of tic tacs to Beyonce, you know?

[1] Time of death: 3:58 PM

Read The Entire "Article" At Byron Crawford

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Use don't abuse (ie. adding me to your site's mailing list). And for the love of God please stop sending mp3 files of your music. I am not Clive Davis and to be frank I probably don't want to hear the shit anyway. You should also know that I take my slow, precious time responding to email. And sometimes I don't respond at all. Fresh.crunkjuice@gmail.com



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