3.30.2007

The "Say Something Nice" Challenge


Cherish @ Vogue Eyewear Spring/Summer 2007 Collection Event

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Rihanna Can't Stand Under My Umbrella



Klingon race rejoice! Your fearless leader has returned with her new single "Umbrella" featuring Jay-Z. I'm suing her ass for stealing a track I made in '93 on the Casio keyboard I got for X-mas. Speaking of which, her singing reminds me of Heidi Klum's Christmas carol "Wonderland."

Listen to "Umbrella"



Random Sanjaya Trivia Fact #610




Sanjaya is responsible for the yummy taste of Chick-Fil-A lemonade. Every Sunday morning a 16 year old boy resembling a greasy version of The Iron Sheik comes over to Sanjaya's residence to squeeze his nipples to extract the succulent secretions. This key ingredient explains the phenomenon behind why the lemonade never looses its tangy taste.

Besides, why do you think the joint is really closed on Sundays for, Jesus? Pfft. Sanjaya is a true gift from Virgo. You hoes just jealous.



MORE SANJAYA FEVER

Poor Sanjaya

Sanjaya: The Next Pop Icon

Sanjaya's American Idol Run - - Is It Credible?

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Downward Facing Dog



A happy Brandy was seen leaving her yoga class in L.A. yesterday. I hope she is able to receive some type of solace from practicing the ancient exercise because I can't get into it. During my sessions I usually break wind once or twice and then curl up in fetal position, taking a nap on my sticky mat. You probably didn't care to read that.



Karl Rove Does The Green Bean Casserole



At the annual Radio/Television Correspondents' Association Dinner on Wednesday, George W. Bush's top weed carrier Karl Rove got his two step on. It was quite the depressing sight, check it.


3.29.2007

Who's Next?

Gather around bitter biatches. Its time to play America's new favorite past time - - Wheel of Illegitimate Fortune. Today's contestant is Kali Bowyer, a 35 year old Californian woman who claims that she has a 13 year old son by comedian Chris Rock.


Chris Rock isn't laughing about one woman's claims he fathered her son.The comedian has been hit with DNA demands from a woman who insists her teenager is Rock's love child.

Kali Bowyer, 35, insists her alleged ex-boyfriend's DNA will help in determining why her 13-year-old son, Jordan, suffers from seizures. She tells the National Enquirer, "From the time Jordan was born until he was three, I was talking to Chris' lawyer, trying to get this resolved, but I kept getting brushed off.

"I complied, I was nice, and I was patient, but in the end Chris still refused to acknowledge paternity.

"I don't want a dime for myself but support for my son... He knows what's going on (and) he told me... 'I don't need him in my life, just take the test so I can find out what's wrong with me.'"

Bowyer, who briefly dated Rock in the early 1990s when she was at college in Los Angeles and the funnyman was an aspiring comedian, insists she's not out to upset her ex's family life or his marriage to wife Malaak.

She adds, "Take five minutes, tell your wife you're out for a cup of coffee, go to the doctor's office and get the DNA test done." (source via ONTD)


That's enough. I don't know what homegirl is talking about but I'm trying to get paid. You didn't know? I have baby daddy issues of my own.

Tomorrow morning I'm going down to my lawyer's office to file "them papers" against Dabnis Brickey. We have a 15 year old daughter together and he hasn't done anything for her but provide her with a life full of grief. Oh, and let it be known that I'm the real reason why Dabnis and Vanessa broke up. Don't pay attention to the gossip on the streets.




Afternoon Snack



JJ and his wife leaving their London hotel


I would cut The Dealer off for a chance encounter with Mr. Jackson. I mean, I wouldn't break up completely with him but I would put his ass on the back burner in a New York minute to spend some time with JJ.

Now that's some high quality sweet action right there.

I bet if you were to bitch slap the side of his neck you could use his sweat as a skin moisturizer. How many people reading this can honestly say that they wouldn't jump at the opportunity to include Jermaine Jackson in their daily grooming ritual, huh? Listen, if you claim otherwise you're not only lying to me but you're lying to yourself. Don't live in denial, join the love train. You don't need a ticket just get on board.

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Video of Beyonce's Pussycat Leaked To The Net

You don't know how much satisfaction I just received from typing that title. My destiny has been fulfilled.

I'm not sure if this is a teaser to the video for "Kitty Cat" or if it's the actual clip but whatever the case it sure looks . . . interesting. Check it.





Don't forget the B'Day video anthology hits YouTube stores on Tuesday, April 3.



FYI . . .



Did you know that Golden Brooks is contractually obligated to look like a piece of piping hot shit at any events non-related to the CW? It's true, I have the documents right here on my desk to prove it.

Gosh I love this woman. She makes this my job so much easier.

Christina Milian, Lauren Conrad (my inner Becky can't get enough of The Hills), Meagan Good, David Banner and others all came out to the Oakley Women's Eyewear Launch Party in West Hollywood last night.

It's pretty bad when Lil' Jon comes to a party looking better than you, Golden.








Sharpton, Simmons And Others Will March Against Tony Yayo

Al Sharpton, Russell Simmons, Dr. Benjamin Chavis and other community and religious leaders are planning a march to protest the alleged actions of G-Unit rapper Tony Yayo.

Billed as a "call to action and public grievance," the rally is planned for Monday as a response to the artist’s alleged assault on the 14-year-old son of hip hop rival Jimmy "Henchman" Rosemond, head of Czar Entertainment.

Yayo, whose real name is Marvin Bernard, pleaded not guilty on Sunday to misdemeanor charges of harassment and endangering the welfare of a child. He is accused of repeatedly pushing and smacking James Rosemond and causing injury to his ear and face.

Since everyone is in the mood to walk it out, I hope they do the same for Shaquanda Cotton, the 15 year old girl who sentenced to 7 years in prison for shoving a hall monitor at her high school.

I've been meaning to march in protest againt Yayo since he said that "ladies tell the truth you know I'm cute" bullshit on "So Seductive." Fight the power, ya'll.



Diddy, The 30 Hour Love Machine

Sean "Diddy" Combs has some potent staying power. The rap impresario is apparently also a sexual maestro: he claims to have had sex for 30 straight hours.

Combs, discussing his romantic stay in Paris with his girlfriend Kim Porter, told the London Mirror: "As soon as we landed, we went straight to the Eiffel Tower, drank champagne at the top and just kissed and kissed. Then we went up to my suite and had tantric sex for at least 30 hours, ordering up whipped cream and strawberries while we were at it."

Combs, who is not given to modesty, added, "As meticulous as I am with my work, I'm more meticulous with lovemaking. I like to do it for a long time."

Combs then toured the city of love with Porter, the mother of his four-month-old twin girls. "After leaving our hotel, me and Kim were driven down the Champs-Elysees in my Mercedes Maybach at 4 a.m., with music playing in the background and we saw so many beautiful sights together."

Despite his romantic feelings towards Porter, he's not prepared to get hitched, explaining that he "would love to get married" but he "isn’t ready yet." (source)


Didn't he talk about how meticulous his love making was in his Vibe cover story a few months back? Give it a break, Sean.

[Thanks Tamara]

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Baked Chicken



Pictures via CL


I'm so glad I decided to stay my ass close to home and party instead of wasting valuable gas taking a trip down to West Palm for Spring Bling. The possibility of being able to watch Jim Jones and Rich Boy's sexy bodies bask and bake in the sun just wasn't enough to coax me to make that fantastic voyage. But if I knew this piece of sweet action was going to be in town I would've changed my mind. Too little too late.

Concrete Loop
and SOHH has you covered until the taped shows air on BET April 5 through 8.

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3.28.2007

Vida's Loose Rap



This is so lame that it doesn't really deserve an entry but hey, I'm bored.

Vida brought her backside to "Tha Goodfellas Radio Show" on L.A.'s 93.5 KDAY and attempted to blast back at The Game, who had earlier called her a "music video ho," among other graphic insults, in his hit song "Wouldn't Get Far."

Unfortunately for MC Vida, she decided to exact her revenge in rap form. In a Federline-esque monotone, she blasts, "Wednesday is male strip night so I don't hear from Game" and "Don't know why you're texting me 'cause women ain't your preference."

This is just the latest in a string of hip-hop feuds involving The Game, who also battled with 50 Cent and the son of late rap legend Eazy-E. Vida claims that someone once hacked her cell phone. (source)



*I am not liable for any sudden ear injuries associated with listening to Vida Guerra's "freestyle."


The "Say Something Nice" Challenge



Arsenio Hall

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Candids: Aunt Viv


Fresh off her DUI charged Aunt Viv attended a party at celebrity hot spot Mr. Chow last night. Thank God she wasn't driving. Correct me if I'm wrong but shouldn't she be planting some trees or doing some other type of meaningless damage control instead of partying? Guess not.

Ya'll already know I have absolutely no tolerance for drunk driving so screw her AND that kitchen ass weave on top of her head. Thanks.



Here's Looking At You Kid

K-Ci @ Macy Gray's album release party

Y'know, rappers need to throw this cat a, erg, bone. Every time you turn around R.Kelly is singing loud and not saying a damn thing different then what he was talking about in '93. K-Ci actually embraces his old man in the club status instead of trying to run away from it. Now that's some shit I for one can actually appreciate.

Don't get me started on his influence on the younger generation of R&B artists. I know I'm not the only one who heard how Omarion straight swagger jacked son's "yeah yeah yeaaah!" on "Ice Box." It ain't hard to tell.

Since crap artists are always trying to emulate Pac you would think they would give him a break and put him on a remix. He made it fly for skinny niggas suffering from rotisserie chest syndrome to feel confident enough to take their shirts off on stage (ahem, T.I. and Rich Boy) and he can't even get on a hook? Nothing? But at the same time they are quick to throw Jodeci on their little top 25 videos on BET. I straight scoff at you knee grows.

I would hate to see his career end with him singing in the parking lot of Wendy's on some Notorious B.U.M. shit. That ain't right man. One day when I dabble in the rap game ('cause its an 80's baby requirement) I won't forget about dude. More sessay pictures of Mr. Hailey at the party under the cut.




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Fantasia On The Set of New Video

Miss Celie shot the new video for her latest single "When I See You" shot in Brooklyn on the Williamsburg Waterfront yesterday. Tasia Mae is really doing well for herself, can't hate on that. She will join the broadway company of 'The Color Purple' beginning April 10. You better work!






3.27.2007

Got Em' Hating




I see people online got jokes about my folk, very funny. Well me fill you in on something. SANJAYA BEEZ THE BLOCK. He the man in his city, you just live there! You just got in the streets, he been out there! You still dreaming about it, he did it in a less than a year! Stop hating!

You can't do what he do and that's a part of the problem. Now put that in your pipe and smoke it. I'm joining the Sanjaya hunger strike crew so if posting becomes erratic over the next couple of days I apologize.

[Thanks Courtie]

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Timbaland Is Trying To Destroy Us


This one is so good Media Take Out couldn't even make it up.

Rumors are swirling that Britney Spears and ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake will head to a Los Angeles recording studio this week with Timbaland to record an updated version of the Motown classic "You're All I Need To Get By," originally a hit for Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell in 1968.

And Jesus wept.

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Heckler Harasses Sir Enna

Serena Williams says a heckler bothered her throughout her match Monday at the Sony Ericsson Open in Key Biscayne, Fla., making at least one racist remark before he was finally ejected.

"The guy said, `Hit the net like any Negro would.' I was shocked," Williams said. "I couldn't believe it. I had to do a double take. I think I hit a double fault on that point."

Williams won the third-round match against Lucie Safarova, 6-3, 6-4. Williams complained late in the match to the chair umpire about the heckler.

"I shouldn't have let it bother me, because growing up in Compton we had drive-bys," Williams said. "I guess that's what my dad prepared me for, but I'm not going to stand for it."

Fans and security confirmed a man heckled Williams inappropriately, tournament director Adam Barrett said.

"The man was identified and escorted off the site," Barrett said. (source)


Picture Association Game


Leon, Mya and Bill Duke spotted in Philly on the set of the upcoming film Cover. Blah blah blah.

It's a pretty slow day so let's play a little game. Everybody is familiar with the word association game, right? Let's put a little spin on it.

Post the first word or phrase that comes to your mind when you look at the individuals in the pictures. For example, when I see Bill Duke the infamous "you know you done fucked up, right?" line from Meance II Society pops up in my head.

Hey, when life gives you an extra yard of polyester fabric make a freakum dress. At least I'm giving an effort, ha.



Dance Dance Revolution

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Aunt Jackie dance:



That was, ugh, cute but the cats were doing it all wrong. The proper way to do my Aunt Jackie is to take her down to the Cisco so she can buy a Tijuana Mama or two and a strawberry Ritz. After that you can do the horizontal Heizman on that hoe all night long.

Question, do White people sit around and make up dances when they have nothing better to do? If so it is only a matter of time before The Green Bean Casserole makes its debut on YouTube. And I want full credit for it.


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Patti LaBelle & Jennifer Hudson Get GLAAD



Jennifer Hudson and Patti LaBelle shined at the GLAAD awards on Monday.

Hudson presented the R&B diva LaBelle with a special achievement award for championing gay and lesbian rights, and participating in the fight against AIDS. This was the 18th annual Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) media awards ceremony.

Oh J. Hud, I just want you to go away for a couple of months. I don't think I am asking too much. It's pretty obvious that she is running out of wardrobe selections, bless her heart . . . and sleeping titties . . . and feet.

Listen to ClayCane's media coverage of the show by visiting his website.









The Deluxe "Say Something Nice" Challenge


Listen to "Push It Baby" Windows | Real

For the love of Sanjaya please listen to this song. I guarantee that it will make you appreciate his vocal abilities.

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3.26.2007

Kelly Rowland @ TRL



Finally, a crypt employee with a pulse! The beautiful and talented Kelly Rowland debuted her new video "Like This" today on TRL. Check it out under the cut.












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